


The Secret

by Crimson_Peak



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love, Love Confessions, Poetry, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 08:44:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18312188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crimson_Peak/pseuds/Crimson_Peak
Summary: Loki isn't telling you something. What is it?





	The Secret

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a BSBvsMCU fic challenge, my prompt was the Backstreet Boys song 'All I Have To Give'

Another day, another argument. You kicked frustratedly at a loose stone on the path as you made your way back towards the Avengers compound. Tonight had been your last night off before the big mission that was planned for this weekend and you’d been hoping for a nice chilled night with your boyfriend, takeaway pizza and Netflix. But instead, you and he had argued  _ again.  _ You had a pretty volatile relationship, and just lately the bad times had started to massively outweigh the good. Ever since you’d been promoted to Mission Director and started working longer hours. You knew he got frustrated that you couldn’t talk to him about it, as obviously Missions were classified information but you’d hoped he would be happy for you, that you’d finally got the job you’d been desperate for for years. Instead, he was bitter and almost jealous of how much time you spent at work, and with the Avengers. 

Making your way through the corridors, you shuffled into the common room to get a drink. As you entered, Loki looked up from the table with a look of surprise. You half smiled at him as you opened the fridge and grabbed a beer, flipping the top off and taking a large gulp before leaning back against the counter and turning to Loki, who was still watching you with one eyebrow raised in curiosity. Eventually he spoke,

“You’re back early?”

You took another swig of beer before you replied, looking down to the floor, “My evening didn’t exactly go to plan”

“Did you have another argument?”

You sighed, “I don’t wanna talk about it, Loki”

You rounded the counter and walked towards the table, pulling out a chair and sitting down opposite him, looking at the paper that was strewn across the table, “whatcha doing?”

“Nothing” Loki mumbled, frantically gathering up the papers before you got a chance to look at them and you watched him as he turned them face down and moved them to the other side of the table, out of your reach. Was he blushing? He cleared his throat and turned back to you, his cool exterior re intact,

“I think Wanda left some ice cream in the fridge. Shall we see what’s on the television? I’m sure there’s some awful, predictable, midgardian sitcom on that would cheer you up”

You laughed as Loki stood and held out his hands for you to take, helping you to your feet, “Thank you, Loki” you whispered, sliding your hands around his back and hugging him. You felt his body tense momentarily like it always did before he gently wrapped his arms around you too, rubbing your back gently,

“Go, sit” he ordered.

You spent the next couple of hours watching re runs of ‘Friends’, passing the tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream backwards and forwards between you. However, your eyes kept wandering back to the pile of papers still laying on the table. 

“Loki?”

“Hmmmm?” He replied without even looking at you as he scraped the spoon around the inside of the now empty ice cream tub, trying to collect the last of it.

“What were you writing earlier?”

You watched as he froze with the spoon mid way between the container and his mouth, and his cheeks started to flush again,

“I told you…..nothing”

He licked the spoon clean and hurriedly picked up the lid, putting it back on the tub and standing up.

“What’s the big secret?” You pressed, curious to know what had got him so flustered and why he wouldn’t tell you. You watched as he moved quickly into the kitchen, throwing the ice cream tub in the bin and rinsing off the spoon before going to the table and gathering up the papers. 

“I’m going to bed” he mumbled, heading towards the door. As he reached it, he turned back to you,

“You know, you could do so much better than that uncivilised lout that you choose to call your boyfriend”

Without waiting for you to reply, he pulled the door open and disappeared. 

—————

You could still remember the first time you met Loki. You’d been scared, but equally attracted to him at the same time. For the first few weeks he was at the compound, he’d barely left his room as he struggled to adapt to a whole new way of life, only emerging for food and drink. But even then he wouldn’t eat with everyone else in the communal area, instead choosing to take it back to his room and resume his solitary lifestyle. You would watch as he prepared his meal in silence, avoiding eye contact or conversation with anyone. You’d soon realised that the only way you were were going to get to know the God of Mischief was if you made the first move. So you’d summoned every last ounce of courage you had, and knocked in his door, arms full of books that Thor had suggested to you that he might like. After that you and Loki had struck up a close friendship, and with your encouragement he’d also started to interact with the other Avengers too. Some of them started to question just how close you and Loki really were, but you’d both always dismissed it. You were just friends. You had a  _ boyfriend.  _ The thing was, Loki was everything your boyfriend wasn’t. 

One night, after everyone else had gone to bed and you’d had one too many glasses of wine, Steve got it out of you. You finally confessed that you were ridiculously attracted to Loki, and had been since the moment you set eyes on him. You’d sworn Steve to secrecy, telling him that Loki would never be interested in you. He was a God after all, and you were just a normal, boring human. To Loki, you were just a friend. 

—————

Halfway through the mission, the Comms system broke. You didn’t know anything. You didn’t know if the mission had succeeded or failed. You didn’t know if they were alive or dead. All you could do was wait to see if they came back. You’d been pacing the length of mission control for nearly three hours when the call came - the Quinjet was coming in to land. You ran as fast as you could up to the landing deck, getting there just as the jets engines shut down. Shuffling from leg to leg, you huffed impatiently as you waited for the doors to open. Then slowly, figures started to emerge. Tony, Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Bucky…….they were all pretty beaten up, but they were alive. Your heart races as you started to panic…...where were the others? Then two more people appeared, and at that point, you knew. As Steve helped a bloodied and upset Thor down the ramp, you knew. Loki was dead.

You stood frozen to the spot as Thor was helped away by Bruce and Tony, and Steve walked slowly towards you, looking at the ground. Your eyes filled with tears as he stopped in front of you and sighed, finally lifted his head to look at you.

“I’m sorry”

You collapsed forwards into Steve’s arms as you broke down. He held you tight as you cried, burying your face in his neck.

“We got separated. Loki called for backup but then comms went down so we didn’t know where he was. We couldn’t find him…….i’m so, so sorry”

—————

You were angry. With yourself for failing as Mission Director, with the tech department for whatever had made the comms system fail, with the other Avengers for not trying harder to get to him, even with Loki for not staying closer to the others. But mostly, you were just heartbroken. As soon as the mission debriefing was over you fled from the room, just needing to be alone. Passing your own quarters, you carried on along the corridors until you arrived outside the door to Loki’s room. You opened it and slipped in quietly, taking a deep, shaky breath as you looked around. Your eyes were drawn to something laying on the bed, and you walked over, picking up the envelope with your name written on the front in Loki’s immaculate handwriting. You sunk down onto the edge of the bed as you turned the envelope over and read the note on the back,

_ Should I not return, this is for you. _

Frowning, you tore it open and pulled out the sheet of paper and started to read,

_I don’t know what he does to make you cry,_

_but I’ll be there to make you smile_

Tears blurred your vision as you read the poem Loki had written for you. The words shattered what small part of your heart wasn’t already broken.

_But my love is all I have to give,_

_Without you I don’t think I can live._

_I wish I could give the world to you,_

_But love is all I have to give._

The piece of paper fluttered to the floor as you lay down on Loki’s bed, curling yourself into a ball as you sobbed. This is what he had been writing last night. Now you realised why he’d been so defensive, and so secretive about it. You had no idea he felt this way about you too, but now it was too late. Loki was gone and you would never get a chance to tell him that you felt the same. Reaching for his pillow, you hugged it to your chest and cried yourself to sleep.

—————

You woke the next morning to a knock on the door,

“C’min” you croaked, blinking sleepily and sitting up, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed. 

The door opened slightly and Steve appeared,

“I thought I might find you here”

He stopped as you reached down to pick up the poem, starting to read it again,

“Loki-“ he began, but you cut him off, holding your hand up, 

“I can’t do this now, Steve”

You sighed as you traced your fingers over the words on the page,

“He wrote me a poem. A love poem. But it’s too late….”

“But..” Steve started again, sounding impatient

You buried your face in your hands as you whispered, “I wish he was still here so I could tell him I love him too”

After a moment of silence a familiar voice, a voice you never thought you would hear again, replied,

“I’m here”

You whipped your head around to see Steve had stepped to one side of the doorway and there stood a bruised and battered Loki, smiling at you. 

“I’m here” he repeated, as you launched yourself off the bed and into his waiting arms.


End file.
